Well, it seems like I have many more people reading my blog than I thought! I don't have a lot of "Followers" and did not think many people were checking in, but after my last post on my fears and doubts, I have received many comments from friends and family and even a couple of strangers! Although, let's not refer to you as strangers, let's refer to you as new cyber-friends!
I seem to have hit a nerve with so many people. Many have told me how much they identified with my thoughts, how true my feelings were and that they totally understood the internal turmoil and struggle with faltering on a doubt and the almost near impossibility of getting back on board. Others have shared that ups and downs are just a normal part of any struggle to lose weight and if you have a bad day, as we almost all will certainly have...then just get up the next day and get back on track. Ahhh...if only it were that easy!
From the feedback I have received, I have now determined that our good Lord, in his almighty omniscience has just decided to divide us humans into two camps...those of us that I will call "true slims" (TSs) and those of us that I will call "truly not slims" (TNSs) LOL!
TSs are able to have ups and downs in their relationships with food. Sometimes they may overindulge and have days or time periods where they binge out on vacations and holidays, etc. But, for TSs, they are able to pick themselves up and get back on the wagon without much of an effort. TSs like food, as we all surely do, but they do not "love" food. TSs very rarely experience that miserable feeling of eating something to the point of nausea...simply because it just tastes so good. TSs are usually able to stop when they are full. My daughter is a TS. I know this because she can stop in mid-lick on an ice cream cone and say, "I'm full" and throw it away! WHAT!?!?!? Who EVER gets full with ice cream still left in the cone? TSs...that's who! I think the key is that TSs do not have emotional issues tied to food. They seem to live that age old adage, "they eat to live, not live to eat."
The rest of us, and according to statistics there are more and more of us all the time, are TNSs. TNSs cannot even fathom throwing away an ice cream cone with ice cream left in the bottom! TNSs tend to throw all caution out the window when at a favorite restaurant and order their favorites, despite the consequences. TNSs can find many reasons to "cheat" on their diets...they can come up with over 150 days a years that should be diet holidays...actual holidays, weekends, obscure holidays (come on, who diets on Arbor Day?), birthdays, anniversaries, and even whole time periods (really, don't we all overeat the entire month between Thanksgiving and Christmas?). TNSs have moments of clarity where we feel good and get our wits about us and are able to stick to a healthy food plan. But, as I said in my last post, when we falter, we tend to start self-talking ourselves back into failure and an eventual return to unhealthy eating. TNSs, for many different reasons, have an emotional attachment to food. We look to food for comfort when we are down. We eat when we are bored. We eat when we are happy. We look at food, especially our favorites, as a friend. We "live to eat, not eat to live."
Now, if you are a TNS like myself...you have probably spent countless hours thinking about, reading about, journaling about, praying about, even seeking professional counseling...why is it that you have this ridiculous attachment to food? Personally, I cannot pinpoint any particular "normal" reason. I wasn't abused as a child. I wasn't emotionally neglected as a child or an adult. I wasn't forced to "clean my plate" when I was young. I do not have a spiritual or emotional void in my life (I am very happily married for over 22 years, have four loving, healthy children, and am a Christian believer). It comes down to...I don't know why I have this thing with food and eating...BUT I DO!
I guess if I could figure it out, I would publish a book, solve the world obesity issue (or at least my own!) and make a million dollars and retire to the Rocky Mountains. Alas, I just don't know the answer.
So...I know none of this post was about Paleo (which is still going great, btw), but is more about my thoughts on how differently so many of us look at food. I guess in the ancient cave world, I would have been a cave mom...and I wouldn't have had deep dish pizza, authentic Mexican food, and deep fried deliciousness and food wouldn't have been an issue...other than to hunt and gather enough to ensure my survival on my daily basis. I would have been eating to live. Perhaps down deep, at some core level, that is why the Paleo lifestyle if appealing to me...perhaps I am hoping to re-awaken some part of my ancient DNA that will help me see food as fuel, not as a friend.
What do you think? Post a comment and let me know!